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[Jan. 21st, 2008|03:51 pm] |
I am SO CRAP at organizing.
I've only come to this conclusion today.
Normally, I'm the one who keeps everything running. I keep the dog on his schedule (outside in the morning before I leave, in the afternoon if I'm home, or 7 pm and midnight if I'm not home till after work, dinner at 6pm), I make sure Rob's almost presentable (clean clothes folded and put in drawer, how many meals has he eaten?, always make sure dinner is on a plate in the fridge because generally even the act of putting his own food on a plate is too much effort at midnight, so he'd rather just not bother), I make sure the bills are paid (not necessarily on time, but how much can they really expect? If you get any money out of me, you should take it graciously), the house is sufficiently clean (not wading through dog hair tumbleweeds and the stairs are hoovered..my least favourite thing next to cleaning the kitchen), keep on top of my school work (this consists of making lots of plans to study all day in the library nd then wondering what's the poing and watching Pet Rescue instead. But I always go to my classes, so once again, how much can they really expect? Before Christmas I was in the library every night until 8pm so I'm taking a break from that until this weekend, when I have to start writing presentations and essays again)...and I make sure all those little things get done, like making sure we have groceries, getting the car fixed, booking holiday to America...
...oops! America! Totally forgot! I mean, I remembered to book the dog walkers, meet and introduce Toby to the dog walker, complain about the cost of dog walker to anyone that would listen (more than a round trip ticket to America!), book tickets through work, pay for tickets through work...the one thing I forgot was the fact that my passport is in my maiden name. And my ticket is in my married name. And I don't think I can change my ticket to my maiden name b/c on the system I am of course listed under my married name. But your ticket and your passport are supposed to match! I work for an airline, you'd think I'd remember this!
There are 2 options:
1. Go to an appointment Thursday at 09:30 in London to get an emergency temporary passport issued for $67, and then get a new passport for another $67 upon my return.
2. Take a risk and travel on my current passport and a copy of my marriage certificate, which the girl at the ticket desk seems to think will be ok, but I mean, with my luck can I really afford to take chances?
The only problem with going to the embassy is that you have to bring proof of a booked and paid for ticket showing you travel within 15 working days. Of course, we are planning to travel w/in 15 working days, we have to, but on the tickets through work you can technically travel any time, any date, and with any airline within a 6 month period, so there are no flight details (dates, carrier, etc) on the tickets. I'm hoping if I explain this to the friendly (!) American behind the counter, while producing evidence that the trip is paid for and dog walking bookings are made for those dates even though it doesn't show on the tickets, that everything will be a-OK.
Everything just has to be so up-in-the-air and finickey, I can't even begin to tell you. So I have to print some shit out and fill out a form and that, and then i have to get me one of the new, disgusting, "I'm proud to be a White American", passports.
I mean....have you seen the new passports?
Have you seen the religious quote?
Have you noticed the marked lack of representation of any other type of American (think African-American or Native American) besides the white, Christian one?
My mom got one of those passports and she got made fun of at every border in England and France. No one here could believe how rediculous they are.
And I really really really don't want one because I cross a lot of borders and I really really really don't want to put up with alllll the shit I'm going to get from every European that sees it. Including members of my own family here in England.
But what's a girl to do? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2008|12:44 pm] |
Hello, hello, hello world.
My car broke down! It BAH-ROKE! I was driving along the motorway, happy as larry, and then everything just shut off! There was a helpful *PING* from the onboard display and then everything lit up like a Christmas tree, all the emergency lights, and then it just went black and I lost power. On the motorway. In the fast lane. At rush hour...which meant I had to try and cross 3 lanes to get to the hard shoulder...at rush hour...when no one wants to let you through.
in fact, they all tried to get up close behind me to bully me to go faster...why is she slowing down and has the hazards on? What could she possibly be doing? Surely not breaking down, she must just be a bitch slowing up in the fast lane. Let's all RAM HER. For fuck sake. It was some serious shit going on.
Well, I made it to the hard shoulder, barely, and the car switched on again after I turned it off for a few minutes. It flickered a few times and threatened to switch off again before I got the mile or so up the road to mike and al's, but I got there. I told them I wouldn't call the recovery service right then because I could not DEAL WITH THAT right now, I didn't even want to know what happened, so we went and saw "I am Legend" instead.
Which I really liked, but was disappointed with the typical Hollywood syrupy ending and was a total knockoff of 28 Days Later, which is my favourite film ever and so so much better, but anyway I still liked it. My fascination with zombies and the end of civilization is scary at times. It makes me want to start bricking myself into my house and surrounding myself with heavy arms and antibiotics. And a faithful canine companion, but preferably not the one I've got as he would be shit in a zombie attack. Totally useless. He'd just go hide upstairs till it was all over, like he does when Rob and I have an arguement.
Anyway, when we got home and the recovery service came he told me the problem was that my aircon compressor pump had seized up so the car was undrivable. Oh, and also, it's one of the most expensive parts to replace under the bonnet. For fuck sake.
After 4 days of trying to source a 2nd hand pump (being quoted £350 or more everywhere that could get them) I finally found one for £160 with a 6 month warrenty. And the Girl spake thus unto the Parts Guy and said it was good. So it's coming tomorrow and my really lovely bestest friend ever at the garage around the corner is going to try and fit it for me for Saturday! The day after Wouter comes! So we can still have fun and not spend £15/day on the train!
I had to borrow emergency funds to get me through the train tickets I've had to purchase all week, and that's the first time I've borrowed money from my parents in over a year. And it felt awful. I felt really really guilty. When you're growing up, you assume your parents have buckets of money and when you find out that they actually don't and that they live on a pretty modest income, you feel really really bad to coming round asking for cash. But if I asked my dad for a million dollars tomorrow and he was able to scrape it up for me, he would do it. He's a very good guy and isn't really bothered if I pay it back. That made me feel worse.
Anyway!
Work is really bad because they've brought in this new girl to work full time since I can't, and she's basically quietly replacing me (she's been given half my job and my desk already, and this is just the first week!), even though they don't say so. There's a possiblity when summer comes I'll have to quit my job in order to work full time, and depending on the decision they make about whether or not to keep the company, I might get the sack even sooner. I'm really worried, mostly b/c I don't want to lose my cheap flights, and also because it'll be impossible for me to find another job with the flexibility they've given me to continue to work during school. Fuck sake.
Ok, that's about all! Other than these things, life is ticking on as normal. Despite the recent catastrophies here (you may think I only write when I'm having a catastrophy, and you'd mostly be right, be be assured that these catastrophies happen even more frequently than I write about. Rob and I officially have the monopoly on bad luck. Even TOBY has bad luck, and dogs don't even know what bad luck is!) I'm feeling much more able to cope, thanks to weekly councelling sessions where even the councellor, who has heard it all and heard a million stories from people like me, agrees I have some of the worst luck possible. I think her admitting that made me feel better than the breathing exercises for anxiety attacks!
I love you all and I want to see you all soon, but first I must get through a Whirlwind Wouter Weekend and that'll take all of my skill. Then I must seduce the new Norwegian guy at work that I share a little room with, and with whom I am madly in love. I mean, he has floppy hair and his name is Hans. Who could ask for more? Rob knows this and couldn't care less, so if I start an extramarital liason, don't worry -- Rob's had to hear about how great and cute this guy is for weeks and I've never seen such lack of interest! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2007|09:05 am] |
Hey, I passed probation at work!
This means I'm now a fully fledged member of staff, plus I only pay 10% of ticket prices, plus tax. THIS means that we're planning to come to Michigan from 9 - 16 of Feb, I think. More on this later.
Also, Wouter is coming to visit on 11 Jan.! Haven't seen him for 3 years so this should be interesting!!
Love love love,
Danielle |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 25th, 2007|03:43 pm] |
Didn't I tell you about Estonia?
No? I didn't?
Oh, that might be because I've had a billion essays to write and I'm totally stressed out and actually I don't know anything about anything and I'm 3 weeks behind in my reading for classes.
But now that I'm here, in the library, wanting to take a break from this shitty horrible crappy-crapo research I'm doing (ha! I've read 3 texts and have gotten absolutely nowhere! I have no idea what I'm going to write! and I only have today and tomorrow to do it! So, obviously, the best course of action for me at this VERY MOMENT would for me to take the time to tell you about our trip to Estonia!)
Well! First, we had to get to the airport. This was an adventure as it mostly consisted of arguing about what time to leave the house, whether or not to eat at the services at 1am (6:30 flight, doncha know) and whether or not to get some sleep in the car. When it's -2c outside. I don't know, another of Rob's stellar plans. Oh, and do you hear that funny noise my car's making?
We were unable to get into the internet booked car park, and after negotiating with the barrier woman to show proof of said booking on our return, we had to drive around and around to the middle of goddamn nowhere at Stanstead long-term parking to find section M, and then find the bus to take us to the terminal. As this was at like 2am, Rob wanted to sleep in the car for an hour. I woke up freezing and grouchy at 3:30 and demanded we find the shuttle to the terminal immediately.
This was done after much shouting and throwing of bags because I was grumpy and he was grumpy and would prefer to sleep in the subzero temperatures of the car than sit in the cozy warm terminal for 3 hours. what an asshole. (note: I get extremely stressed out when having to make a flight, and unless I'm sitting at the gate 12 hours before the expected departure time, I'm not satisfied. The best suggestion I can give someone travelling to an airport with me is DO EXACTLY WHAT I SAY, DO NOT QUESTION OR ARGUE, AND WE MIGHT BOTH MAKE IT TO ROW 11, SEATS 3 AND 4, ALIVE).
After arrival at the terminal, Rob wanted to do some early morning trainer and jacket shopping, as he had neither appropriate outer- or footwear for the very very cold November Estonian temperatures. After a lot of taking the piss out of the shoes at the Nike shop (has anyone else noticed how rediculous and hideous Nike shoes have become?), we crashed out at the gate.
Flew to Estonia, sleeping in the 3in wide Easyjet seats. Horrendous. Rob kept the whole flight going with his amazing cheast-infection induced cough.
Arrived in Tallinn, peed myself a little bc I was like SO HAPPY to, you know, order a cab in Estonian, pay for it with Kroons, and experience the wonders of a modern, shitty, Estonian hotel.
Then the eating began. We began eating 30mins after arrival and didn't stop until 20 mins before departure. It was disgusting. I had to stop after 2 days as my stomach was just not holding any more. Also, I had my stomach problems again, so anything I did eat sent me into convulsions of pain.
Collected my suitcase and had lunch with Nastya and Jasha (who very kindly threw away half of my stuff from my suitcase, which really fucked me off and I'm still not happy about it to this day).
After a full day of eating, the next morning we went back to the airport to collect my very first rental car. It was an Opel Astra or something and was fantastic. I was shitting myself as I had to drive on the wrong side of the road/car again, and it took most of the time just to get the hang of it, but I navigated us safely from Tallinn to Tartu to see my old school and where I spent many a happy day eating and smoking with Tess, Tiina, Anna, Wendy and the crew. So we ate and then went back to Tallinn and dropped off the car during a blizzard. That was fun.
The next day we ate, and then I met up with my old friend Kaspar and his girlfriend...to eat. He said if I wanted a job at the American embassy, they might be able to arrange it as they have a good friend who works there. Also, Rob was told to apply to work at one of the top hotels in Estonia. We are both looking into our job prospects and I plan to move us to Estonia first chance I get.
The next day, the last day, we wandered the streets of the old town, eating and purchasing very expensive works of art by my favourite artist, Navitrolla. I bought the 150 euro one...the one next to the 8,900 euro one. Then we ate some more, drank some, bought some stuff, crashed out, and the next day flew home.
It was so. so. good. I was so happy to be back, I cried all the way home that I had to leave, and told Rob we MUST submit CV's to find jobs and live there ASAP. So that's what we're doing.
(Oh, and that funny noise in my car? Continued, louder, on the way home from the airport. 2 days later the car was dead after the transmission blew up or something. So I bought a new car: a black Saab 900, which is beautiful and I make out with it every day and can't believe it's my car. fingers crossed it lasts more than the 8 months of the departed Renault). |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 25th, 2007|03:35 pm] |
Whilst researching for PS/IR essays, one might stumble across many an academic who, in their material, try to be wittier or cleverer than the next academic. (Note: Academics are never clever or witty)...
...For instance, as I have been trying to answer that age old question of "how domestic politics differ from international politics", I have stumbled across this gem of a quote from Pahre and Papayoanou's "Using Game Theory to Link Domestic and International Politics"...The quote reads as follows:
..."the contributors to this special issue agree with the latter position; we need not toss out the positivist baby with the levels-of-analysis bathwater"...
Now, in response to the attempt to be clever and witty above, a scholar might stroke their chin and ask themselves, "What the fuck?" |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2007|02:23 pm] |
I just had Rob apply for a credit card on my behalf. I don't need another credit card but it's from Virgin and it's pink. I don't even like pink but I want that pink credit card.
I heard myself saying to Rob over the phone "They won't let me apply for the card because I've not lived in the UK for 3 years...so you have to do it...and make sure to ask for a pink one for me."
I mean...what?
He said "You want me to stop preparing for a party of 14 to call and apply for a pink credit card for you?"
"Yes."
"Riiighhhtt...well I'll see what I can do."
His patience is boundless. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2007|06:04 pm] |
Also, I'm currently suffering from possible gallstones and something called wry neck.
It sounds like an old man's disease. Sarcastic smile and wry neck. They might call it something different in the states but basically it's when a bunch of muscles in your neck seize up for no good reason. just because. so i can't move my head bc it's so painful afd that means i've done fuckall for 2 days. it's horrible. but not as horrible as it would have been if i'd filled that perscription the doctor gave me for CODINE! the one thing in the world that i'm like severely allergic to. I would have wound up in the emergency room if i'd had that. but the funny thing is, you can buy codine here without a perscription...it's next to the midol and aspirin...so why perscribe it to me in the first place??? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2007|05:52 pm] |
Ok, since you were all so crap at telling me where we should go on our holiday (I really WAS having a crisis! Now I know where not to turn to for future crises...) we're going with the predictible option of TALLINN!!
There are lots of reasons for this:
1. Get my suitcase from Jasha's poor mom's house
2. Eat daily at Narva khovik EVEN THOUGH they don't do fried pelmeenid, only boiled...but they DO do great gulash...actually, everything is great, minus the boiled pelmeenid cause they feel like boiled testis in your mouth...blah!
3. See my city...MY city. My favourite city in the whole world. Even though I'll probably get bored in 5 minutes I just want to see it, smell it, eat all the estonian food i can, speak estonian, blah blah blah fantastic!
4. We're both hoping to see snow.
We'll be there from the 6 - 9 November and we're staying at a hotel which is SUPPOSEDLY 900 metres from the centre, near to Narva mnt. but from looking at the map I've got no idea where it is...It probably doesn't exist. But for £55 for 3 nights, who cares! It costs more than that to sleep on the street!
Way way excited, but please....
...Am I going to get arrested at pass control for not having paid a £60 EMT bill 3 years ago?? PLEASE SAY NO! Masha? Nastya? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2007|04:46 pm] |
Right, so!
Tickets to Estonia for 4 days in November?...CHECK!
City centre hotel reservation?...CHECK!
1 day rental car for trip to Tartu/Estonian countryside?....CHECK! (Toyota Corolla 1.6 or similar bitchezzz!..But I mean cute European Toyota...)
Dog walking for Toby booked?....CHECK!
So we're like all set!
Except I've got to write this FUCKING essay for 31 October and it's just not going well. For starters, she gave us the lamest title ever for an undergraduate essay "Why do ethnic conflicts occur in postcolonial states?" Well what do you mean WHY? In what context? I need something to work with here. I can't write 2000 words based around the word "WHY". For fuck sake. This single essay is worth 25% of my mark and I'm scared shitless. I mean....help!
Rob is still working like an idiot. He leaves at 8am or so and comes home around 1am. Do you know how hard it is to maintain a functional relationship with someone you never see? Damn difficult.
He's getting really poorly again and he never eats so he's getting like anorexic breath and you could carve a turkey with his hipbones. I mean he literally doesn't eat. No time or too stressed or because "eating slows you down and I can't afford to be slow". He's basically carrying a whole doomed restaurant on his shoulders and he doesn't realize that every time someone fucks up it's not his fault.
Toby's got an ear infection and a mouth infection and is one big furry bag of infection. We're going to try and convince the vet to convince the pet insurance company that they need to cover Toby for a major surgery to lift his droopy lips so he can stop having infections around his mouth. It's as gross as it sounds and is really uncomfortable for him. He's driving me crazy this dog. Plus! Do you know how much it costs to hire someone to walk your dog 2x30 min a day for 3 days? TOO MUCH! I suggested we just let him roam the streets until we get back (free exercise, all the rubbish he can eat and does he ever like his rubbish!) but Robert didn't like that idea.
Anyway, if someone wouldn't mind coming and guiding me through the writing of this essay, that would be just great! Thanks very much! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 9th, 2007|04:22 pm] |
Rob and I are about to take our first holiday together ever (excluding Estonia and America).
We're going to go from 6 - 9 November, assuming we can get a doggy sitter for Tobias.
Basically there's a big sale on Easyjet at the moment so we can go pretty much anywhere in Europe for £100 for the both of us, return (hello, can we say fuck carbon footprint, bring on the cheap flights??).
Rob's just told me I can book it to wherever I want, but I obviously don't KNOW what I want! I mean, Paris, Tallinn (pick up my suitcase!), Pisa?? Where?!
I need help, so I want to do a quick 24 hour survey. Even if you don't know me, where would you go for a romantic few days (stress free please or we'd kill each other) with your husband whom you only see once a week?
Name a city, any city! Give recommendations on where to eat, sleep, drink, etc etc. Quickly now! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 15th, 2007|01:51 pm] |
There's lots of benefits from an international relationship.
Husband with cute accent.
Multiple passports/citizenship.
Cosmopolitan world view.
Having a resource for international butter measurements.
That's right, butter measurements.
Rob's just called me and asked me how much an American stick of butter weighs. In grams.
Oh, let me just think...ah yes, last time I weighed a stick of butter in grams I seem to remember it was approximately....umm...oh dear, I've forgotten.
PS. The answer is 110 grams. Never doubt the powers of Ask.com... |
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| In the quest of weight loss... |
[Jul. 31st, 2007|11:01 am] |
As previously mentioned, I've begun going to the gym for the first time in my life. In earlier years I could keep additional weight off by living an Estonian lifestyle...walking everywhere, smoking 12039234923084 cigarettes per day, and drinking masses of beer and eating piles of potatos. You may wonder about those last two, but hey, it worked for me. I LOST weight on the beerpotatocigarette diet, so it must be doing something.
Well, then I moved to England and got a car. And discovered the joys of eating things besides potatoes and shashlik. And things began creeping up on me. This is hard to admit, but I was really embarrassed by my wedding photos because I thought "jesus christ what's happened there", and have been reluctant to share subsequent photos, which is driving friends crazy.
So I vowed then and there while sobbing over a packet of photos that I MUST go to the gym and I MUST move my ass. And got what an uphill struggle. Before Budapest I was doing really well and was motivated by the thought of seeing my skinny/gorgeous European friends, and then I drank beer and ate gulash so that set me back. And then my mom came and we went to Paris and ate all the meat, cheese and pastries that we could. And then I fell out of my routine and have only been to the gym a handful of times in the past few months (which is a serious waste of £29.50/pm membership fee).
And so I've begun dragging my sorry saggy behind to the gym a few times over the past week or so and I enjoy it once I'm there, it's just getting there that's the problem. Also, I'm at that stage where I'm so fed up and things are definately not progressing as quickly as they should be. I mean, I'm not noticing much of a difference even though I can't walk properly from doing leg presses and all I eat is low cal hummous and vegetables and 5 cal Cup-a-Soup stupid things (oh and chocolate and Swedish sweeties from Ikea...and pear cider, also from Ikea)..
I mean, I won't diet besides the above mentioned dieting type things, because my blood sugar gets fucked up very easily and if I don't eat a proper meal (ie not just an apple for lunch, etc) I get terrible headaches and nausea. So I guess I should carry on with Sunday roasts and chocolates at work then, shouldn't I? I mean, must keep the blood sugar levels stable, mustn't we?
I was looking online for some "how to not eat like a pig" tips, and stumbled across a "proana" site, which was disturbing as all the commenting members seemed to be under the age of 18, and the fact that they "advised" taking cold showers throughout the day to try and get your motablism up or some bullshit but I mean whatever. I did glean a tip from the site though as they menioned taking a bit of something and then a sip of water in order to eat less and feel full. This is actually a great tip for me as I tend to shovel food into my mouth and then lounge for hours after dinner just digesting. So making myself take my time and eat less must be good advice.
Coincidentally, I saw this tip in process, used by a real live anorexic! This girl came into our hostel in Hungary with her friend and while she cracked jokes in a really high pitched nasally American voice, no one in the hostel could keep their eyes off her. This is because we'd just been to the war museum and this girl literally looked as if she walked off the poster about the concentration camps. Her legs were bone and skina and nothing else, and her arms were the size of my wrists. I know because I sat next to her at breakfast. I say breakfast, but for her it was more of an aperitif than a meal as her breakfast consisted of a glass of water and another glass of half water half milk. She would take a sip of watermilk and then a sip of water. Tiny sips from these tiny glasses. And I'm sorry, I'm not being funny, we just gawked at her while shovelling thick slices of handmade hungarian bread and jam into our faces. My friend Liisa and I made a plan for one of us to hold this girl's mouth open and the other would shove in the strawberry jam. I had the very real sense of being sat next to the corpse. I honestly don't know how she walked around the city with her fat (naturally) friend without having a cardiac arrest, but there you are.
Anyway, this is yet another post that starts with a story and looks like it may be going somewhere, but actually I'm just bored at work and don't have the willpower to actually think of a conclusive ending, or re-read what I've written, so I'll just post this and see what you say. |
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| This is why I haven't been in contact... |
[Jul. 25th, 2007|02:03 pm] |
Why is it that I am so unlucky?
In my life, in every situation, everything that could go wrong actually does go wrong.
Over the past month or so we've been dealing with issues on several fronts. One, a student loan cheque for $5000 came to me and I spent half the cash on bills and other things that had been piling up and worrying me for the last 6 months, and then the cheque subsequently bounced (because the American bank didn't like the way the school stamped it to endorse it). This left me with an £1800 overdraft ($3600) and the rest of the funds were of course absorbed by my bank, along with all my wages and savings (to pay for part of the overdraft). This of course was a disaster and is an ongoing nightmare in the financial security department. We have everyone and their brother ringing due to bounced direct debits etc etc etc and both the American bank that cashes the cheque and my English bank have been extremely uncooperative and demanding, and I've had to do all the legwork for getting the cheque reissued myself.
Luckily today the reissued cheque came, the school was very careful in endorsing it properly etc etc and I sent it super fast mail to my mom in America....and I've just realized that, like a pillock, I haven't endorsed the cheque myself. I hope my mom is good at forging signatures.
Two, we're moving in a couple weeks and we haven't even started the process yet and already it's a disaster with me failing my references because of not having a permanent contract with work, the rent being more than 40% of my income, etc etc etc so we've had to dodge that bullet by fudging numbers and sending all the documents of all the money we've ever made to an unreliable referencing agency. And without the money from America we don't actually have the money for the deposit and all those things so at the moment we're panicking.
Three, Rob had been really ill over the past couple months and we didn't know what the problem was. He usually gets really ill once a year from his asthma-related mystery illness (which no one can successfully diagnose)...because of his mother's long, drawn out death due to a rare form of blood cancer, getting ill is really Rob's greatest fear in life. This means when he IS ill, he is unbearable to live with. He develops horrible anxiety, severe depression, and basically sleeps for weeks on end, sleeps at every opportunity to escape the bad thoughts swirling around his head. I've had this sort of crippling anxiety and depression myself, where I literally laid in bed for about 2 months...didn't sleep, didn't eat, didn't really shower..Just smoked cigarettes and cried. So I know how it feels, and Rob knows that. He also knows when he gets depressed and anxious that if he tells me, I get depressed and anxious for him. So he didn't tell me to keep me from suffering.
So of course I thought he was just fed up with me or something, so in turn I got fed up with him lying around and moaning and working like a bastard to keep his mind off things. I got more and stressed and depressed and couldn't sleep and couldn't eat and couldn't focus at work. By the time we got to breaking point I told him I couldn't live like that anymore and that if he didn't shape up and start contributing something to our relationship and our life together (such as helping with the house, the bills, taking care of the dog, etc) that I was leaving. Over the past month my suitcase has been packed and repacked several times and the number of rooms at a local hotel I've booked I have no idea (though I never actually went to them). By the time Rob actually came clean and told me what the problem was, I had already completed an application for divorce online (but have since dropped the case).
The point of all this is...well I have no idea. I suppose this is life and everyone goes through it. I came to realize again how much Rob means to me, as I had forgotten it. I've never felt so dead inside as I did when I thought I no longer loved him. When I looked at him, I didn't feel something. And I always feel something when I look at him. My heart skips or I get butterflies in my stomach. And then, the butterflies were dead and my heart didn't even speed up a notch when he walked through the door. It was horrible. It was mental torture thinking about seperating, and what REALLY pissed me off was thinking about how hard we worked to be together and the thought that we were just going to give up.
I'm happy to say that while the waves aren't completely smoothed out (but when will they ever be?), hopefully things are coming together. Rob was diagnosed with a bacterial infection and given antibiotics and is feeling much better. He realizes he's much too stressed with work and that I won't stand it if he works 15 hours a day, 7 days a week, so he is planning some time off and reducing his responsibilities as much as he can at work to spend more time with his family (aka Me and The Dog..along with His Brother and Friends). The dog is going into the vet today as he's limping but hey, what's new? We bought a broken dog and he just keeps on breaking! Just when we think there's nothing left that he could catch or do to himself, Toby surprises us with massive vets bills! I think he does it out of revenge.
I myself have to apologise to friends as I've really been incommunicado for awhile now. I've been suffering from depression and really couldn't face smiling or laughing or making light conversation, but we gots da meds and things are on the up.
SO THERE!!11!!oneone! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2007|10:48 pm] |
My mom gave me the cd of my wedding photos when she was here.
there are 900 photos.
unfortunately, they're all in RAW format, and I can't open them.
How do I convert them to JPG or whatever, without having to purchase any software? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2007|04:31 pm] |
O, the Joys of being married to Robert Barton are Never Ending...
This afternoon I was at work thinking about nothing in particular (as I am wont to do while updating various spreadsheets, etc) and I realized I hadn't seen Rob wearing his wedding ring recently.
He usually takes it off when he's cooking and then puts it on again when he comes home, but often times forgets to put it on for weeks on end (like on weeks when interviewing Polish teenage girls to work as waitresses, for instance).
So I gave him a call and said something like "Hey baby where's your ring?" and he said something mumbled like "Ohhh...you know...aidofuaeoirualrijerlfjaedmfcsdknfm..." and I'm like "What? Sorry? You'll have to speak up. But I'm assuming you haven't lost it! "Oh...uhhh.. mmdfmfmfmfemmmmfffaoeirajffm."
Well, turns out he's only gone and lost it, hasn't he. I thought he'd make it at LEAST 8 months before he lost it, but if I'm honest I didn't really hold out much hope. That's why my ring cost a lot and his ring only cost 50 quid.
But! The kicker is!
I said "Why didn't you tell me you'd lost it??"
"Well, I didn't want you to get upset!"
"So, what, you were just going to go out and buy another one and hope I didn't notice??"
"Uh, yeah."
"AND YOU DON'T THINK THAT WOULD HAVE MADE ME A LITTLE UPSET?!"
"No...but see! I was right! You're getting upset now! That's why I didn't tell you!"
I'm sure that arguement made perfect sense in his head. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2007|08:23 pm] |
Orlando Bloom and Jude Law ate at Rob's restaurant on Friday night and enjoyed their meals.
They ordered from Rob's menu, and ate (and consequently pooed out) Rob's food.
I think that's pretty good.
Less impressively, my mom and I ate there Thursday night and had the best steaks we've ever eaten. Literally. My mom said it was the first steak she's ever had that she didn't need to season.
My husband is a genius and a wizard in the kitchen. I hope he gets an award soon. |
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| Budapest and More |
[Jun. 2nd, 2007|10:48 am] |
Budapest was fab.
Driving to the airport, my car broke down in a traffic jam. Overheated. I knew there were problems with my fan but was trying to postpone the inevitable. At normal speeds, it would have kept going (I did pay for 5 days of airport parking afterall) but during a jam, going 20mph it didn't have a prayer.
So steam came in through the vents and from under the hood (bonnet) and it was horrible and I had to pull over and stand by the side of the road in the pouring rain waiting for the police/tow truck. The man driving the truck was listening to the new Muse album. When I commented on this fact, he alerted me to the fact that he had an extra ticket to the Muse concert coming up at the new Wembley stadium. He had recently broken up with his girlfriend and therefore was casually inviting me along to what would be an amazing, sold out (full to 19,000 capacity) show...but i had to decline on the basis that I am married and he was creepy. Not being able to go is very upsetting, as one could imagine. ESPECIALLY SINCE ROB'S BROTHER GETS TO GO TO THE CONCERT WITh OUR FRIENDS AND NO ONE IN THE FAMILY INVITED ME, THE FUCKERS.
Anyway, I took a taxi and a bus and a train and a bus and made it to the airport on time. The Muse-ticket-holder took my car to a garage where they'd hold it and fix it when I was away. (He left about 4 messages on my phone while I was gone, all of which ended with "and I hope you're having a great holiday"..oh dear).
On to Budapest.
Upon arrival, I took a taxi to the centre. The driver was insane (as Continental drivers normally are) and I almost died approximately 16 times. It was great. I met the girls at our hostel and we proceeded out into the night. I drank about 3 litres of beer but was feeling great until the fatal moment when someone suggested a wee drink of Hubertus for one and all. This is a local drinking delicacy consisteing of a vodka-type base infused with herbs. It's disgusting. My head went all warm and fuzzy and I felt instantly sick. I was puking up everywhere in the morning and had a hangover for 2 days. Horrible.
While in Budapest, Tiina, Liisa, Anna, Tess and I explored everywhere and met up with our friend Kinga (Hungaraian, studied with us in Tartu). She took us to some places we wouldn't have found otherwise, including the most amazing bar called Marxism (with a Soviet theme, naturally). I give it a 10/10 for Underground Bars with Delicious Food, Great Decor, Fantasic Atmosphere and Much Fun Ensuing. And it was only £2 for one of the best pizzas I've ever eaten. (The AntiVegetarian was the name...2940234 types of meat and, strangely, sweetcorn). We also met up with Liisa's friend Nora, who is great and has a hilarious laugh....and trust me, she's always laughing.
It was a great city for exploring, if a bit run down and covered head to toe in graffiti. I think the most memorable place we went was the "House of Terror"..This was the building which housed the leaders of the Nazi and Communist parties in Hungary during the war, and has now been turned into a memorial museum for the victims of the war. In the basement is a huge system of prison cells for political prisoners, including the torture rooms and all the rest of it. It was really a disturbing place and i came out feeling sicker than when I went in (not the best place to relax with a hangover). Liisa and Tiina had been travelling for 3 weeks prior (to Ukraine, Romania, Poland, etc) and they said that the House of Terror was just as disturbing as Auschwitz, which they had visited earlier on in the trip. The rest of the time was spent going to more upbeat places, but that really stuck with us.
Anyway, we ate as much cake and gulash as we could. Liisa, Tiina and Anna had to leave a day earlier. On Tess and my last night we wandered down by the river late at night, taking in the views of the palace and parliament buildings etc etc which were really beautifully lit up. it was a great farewell walk of the ciy. Tess left early in the morning and i had all day before my flight, but I was really too tired to walk around anymore so I just went to the airport and hung around for like 7 hours. Mike picked me up at the airport and then yesterday i took the day off work to pick up my car and get the house in order.
This weekend I've got to clean and prepare the house for the arrival of Mom. She's coming on Wednesday and we'll do a tour round our area, and then Thurs-Fri we're flying to Faris. Saturday-Sunday will be for the Lake District, Mon-Tues I'm off to work and mom to London to explore. The last few dates are unplanned but probably will be spent visitng family, maybe pop down to Brighton, etc etc. Should be really fun.
hope you're all well. thanks for reading such a long boring post. |
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[May. 21st, 2007|09:57 am] |
Well it's been awhile.
I'm working for Scandinavian Airlines at Heathrow. I'm just temping but I've been here 4 and they're offering me a permanent position. I'm working in the HR Department, but I'd much rather be working at the ticket desks or something. I don't like being cooped up in an office all day. I want to deal with customers and emergencies and run around in a little blue uniform with the hot Scandinavian girls. (and let me tell you...HOT!)
I'm finishing exams. They were very hard last one's Thursday and then I'll be a 2nd year for the first time in 5 years. Hurray! It's been so stressful... I have 3 full time jobs: Real work, my studies and taking care of Rob, the dog, and the house. I also have a plan to lose 80 lbs, but we'll see how that works out...I'm going to the gym nearly every day though so that's all right.
On the 27th of May until the 31st I'm off to Budapest for 5 days of museums and drinking (ok, no museums) as we've got a Tartu Girls reunion. Present will be me, Tess, Tiina, Anna, possibly Joanna, Liisa... We're staying at a fab hostel which will only cost about €8/night and we get a private room that sleeps all of us. I haven't been on a holiday besides the wedding in over a year and I'm dying to see all my girls. I haven't seen them since that holiday over a year ago so it'll be wildly exciting. These are some of my best friends in the world, so being together is really someting special (as Liz can attest to....she's been inducted into the mayhem). We'll take anyone into the group as long as they've got a strong liver, a great sense of humour and a willingness to have fun no matter what you're doing, where you are, or whether or not you have any money.
Rob's starting a new job as well...he did 3 hours of work for a bit of extra cash at a place he used to work in about 3 years ago and they offered him a head chef position for DOUBLE the salary. He will now be making more money than his brother, who is loaded. This is SO fantastic, I can't even tell you. It gives us the opportunity to move into a bigger place (with a garden for Toby, fingers crossed!), pay off our debts, and have a bit of disposable income. It also means that I don't have to work during the school year if I don't have time, and not worry about it. Room to breathe is what we're talking about here...for the first time ever! More exciting than that is the fact that Rob will be properly running the kitchen, hiring and firing, and will be able to work for and take credit for any rosettes or other awards they might get...Maybe Michilin stars? And if that happens, Rob will be a celebrity and he'll be able to ask for any wage he wants and I will be swimming in an endless stream of Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses and cups of cappucino purchased without the guilt of spending £2 on something I don't need!
Oh the luxury of it all!
On the 5 - 15 June my mom will arrive at Heathrow airport, and then proceed to take London by storm. Because that's how she rolls. Everyone will know that Michelle Mees has arrived (back in the UK after 22 years of mid-Western drudgery! come see her live in Surrey for 10 days only!), making herself known with a heavy American accent, a Vera Bradley tote (possibly with a chicken motif!) and a suitcase full of capris and flipflops! I'm so excited and I'm going to show her everywhere and everything. She'll love it.
Yes. |
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